It is clear that you are speaking from your heart about the most important thing of all—our salvation.  Your deep love and concern for your flock is very apparent in your voice.  Perhaps the reason that it may come across as rambling and long is that you are trying to convey knowledge that is difficult to explain in words—knowledge that is best revealed in the love and earnestness of the speaker. 

We don’t really understand what you mean when you speak of 'holiness' and all the words in the world will not really be able to explain it to us.  The concept of holiness sounds so ethereal, unattainable and sometimes even impractical to our sinful ears.  We don’t even really know why we need to be holy.  Yes we know we must become holy to be saved and it is clear to us that we need salvation from our sins.  But our sins keep us from understanding what these concepts of salvation and holiness really mean.  Our sins keep us from seeing our true sinfulness or our need for holiness.   So you are trying to explain something to us that is simple but extremely difficult to explain and even more difficult for us to comprehend.  (In fact, apart from the grace of God, these things are impossible for us to understand.)

I do this all the time with my children.  I have something on my heart I wish to share with them—the hard won knowledge of experience.  So I begin talking to them.  I know what I am trying to say and I keep trying to find different ways of conveying it.  I go on and on, speaking of things that are important and make sense to me—but I can tell from the glazed look in their eyes that I am not going to be able to inject my knowledge and experience into them like a simple transfusion. 

So I can’t really offer any suggestions of improvement on you homilies, but I can assure you that your message is being conveyed to us—although perhaps not as much by your words as by your prayers and  priestly service, and through your dedication, concern and demonstration of God’s love.