I have to say TOO much here. That makes it unrealistic for me to comment on it…

Maybe just this: being brought up without a father, I know too well what it is God’s help through wonderful people. Though I didn’t have father (de facto), with the course of time I received another gift from God – upbringing in the church. My fathers – spiritual advisers. God’s children. Shepherds. It’s impossible for me not to realize how graceful Son of God is sending me this rescuing hand, due to which I, falling so often under the pressure of my sins & problems, am still capable to get up… I don’t have many questions, but I cherish theirs answer, I listen to them, holding my breath, and wondering meanwhile that it all is said for me, unworthy of all this, and it all is so necessary for my particular soul. And more – I listen to their silence. Being happy & considering it’s as a miracle – being able to be in their presence, to listen to this blessed silence, to be bestowed by their prayers. I believe – it’s their prayers, as well as prayers of my dear beloved friends, will be a powerful tool, helping me in my last moment, and defending me from devilish schemes. I am unaware whether they will outweigh my sins, but I strongly hope. As I know that God hears the prayers of His servants.

And what terrifies me – is that I, watching such people & having the chance to get the best, am too slow to learn & to acquire. That spending so much time near them, I remain what I am. This is my imperishable pain…

Asking your prayers, needing them,

God’s sinful slave
Natalia

I have had to fight despondency, in the past, over the struggles, sorrows and weaknesses of just the handful of people God has placed in my care. I cannot even imagine being in your position.

You have our constant and fervent prayers, Father–and may God make us all honest men.

Bless