HOLY FATHERS:

I agree, much seems familiar, and this seems also strange, at least it seemed to me so from the beginning. My endeavor to the reading of holy fathers was at first very “massive” & active. I just devoured books, and what is also strange – not in a careless or inattantive way. I absorbed the contents, the idea, the phrases, I even could quote orally. It surprised me, as I had very little time really, and read usually in bits, or on weed-ends. I wonder how I managed to swallawed so much being in a tight corner with the time & assignments! Now I have more spare time, but I read much less, and usually one & the same things….Each time I read them anew, find out new things there, focus my attention on new moments & re-examine the “old” ones. It’s like being a conjurer, taking new & new objects from one & the same basket, while the audience is bewildered at how many things can fit in such a limited capacity…
Holy fathers also act like a refreshing shower…when I came back home from the office, I was sometimes filled with feelings & thoughts of nonpeaceful character, irritation, condemnation, offence etc. or simply tired & complaining. For this person, as a healing, I kept several books on the shelf in a visible place, so that I can turn to them any moment (like the Ladder, Makary of Egypt, John of Kronstadt “My Life in Christ”…), and at such “non ideal” states of mind I took the book from the shelf, opened it (often – at any page without thinking) & read a small portion. And – “the medicine” worked! I saw myself in the lines of this book, and smiled & thought: “What a fool you are, Natasha.” Really, thanks God for such an energency remedy!

LITURGY:

Deborah, thank you!
and – very few understand. IT IS. and – impossible for full realisation.

NOBLEMAN:

I also always realised that His faith surpasses mine in innumerable times. and – speaking about me – I do not really realise that his faith was weak. He also seemed to me a person of humility. and in such a stressful, dramatic moment of his life he thought of Jesus, he relied on Him fully. This means much. He appeared to be a “doer”. I always admired him. and I wish I once can learn to behave like this when I am in crisis. or at least passing over a dramatic period of life. or just when things go on not as I prefer them to go.

Simply beautiful–I never thought of it that way.

Natalia wrote:
>“What does Russian Orthodox Church do for the settlement of social matters?” – this bishop answered with humility: “WE SERVE THE DIVINE LITURGY”.

This is something that is really understood by very few, isn’t it?

This is the major thing Church can do for us. and what can we do for God? everything we have – is His gift, what we can bring to Him – is returning Him of what He Himself gave us. Gratitude to Him – is what we can do, being frateful & glorify Him – in all situations, in sorrow, and in joy, admitting that all we have – we have from Him, and all our life and whatever we do – won’t be enough to reward everything…

Bishop Afanasy (Evtich) in one of his lectures describes the following episode from the life of some Russian Church Hierarch: “One Russian bishop, who came to one of the Western countries for the first time after the fall of communism, was asked by Western christians (catholics & protestants): “What does Russian Orthodox Church do for the settlement of social matters?” – this bishop answered with humility: “WE SERVE THE DIVINE LITURGY”. Being surprised by the answer, they didn’t understand Vladyka. I think this is the best answer that could be…as the Liturgy is the entrance to Heaven.

You make a very interesting and helpful point with your contrast.

I must say that the nobleman, as weak as his faith may have been, had more faith than I probably would have had. The Samaritans did not need miracles but they had the Savior, Himself, speaking to them at length (and in the case of the Samaritan woman, telling her things about her life that He could have only known through the power of God). But the nobleman, as far as we know, was coming in faith and hope of receiving help, not after having heard His words, but mainly because of his hearing about or witnessing Jesus’ miracle at the wedding in Cana. And from this one miracle the man surmises that Jesus’ must also have the power to heal–even though, as far as we can tell from scripture, Jesus had performed no healing miracles before this. And when Jesus tells him to go home, that his son is healed, scripture tells us that the nobleman ‘took Jesus at His word’ and left without knowledge but only trust that his beloved son was healed. His faith was weak–but it was strong enough to bring Him to Jesus to ask for help and strong enough for him to trust His word.

And here I am now having heard both His words and countless testimonies of His miracles and I still sometimes struggle to believe that God is going to heal my sons–and me.

“It is also very helpful the read the Holy Fathers, but without the first three, above, reading the Fathers is an endeavor that can only lead to deficient knowledge and boasting.”

I might add to this that when we attend the services regularly, we receive the teachings of the fathers of the church effortlessly. As I study the fathers, I’m continually amazed at how much of what they say I already know, just from having attended the services for the last 10 years.