That is so true! I once told a group of young people I was teaching “Heaven and Hell start right here, right now! If you are moving towards God you are in some way already in Heaven moving further into Heaven. If you are moving away from Him, you are in some way already in Hell moving further into Hell.”

Natalia wrote:
“He said it is “because you suffer from your state, confess it, and – because you worry so much of losing faith”. He then said that if I really had lost faith, I would have felt calm, no regrets, nothing of the kind.”

I’ve heard it said that if you think you might be insane then you are not, because if you were truly insane you would not have the reasoning or judgment to question your sanity. I don’t know if that is entirely true or not but there is certainly truth in it. If we are still alive enough to sense the loss of His presence then we are alive enough to call to Him for help–and He will answer. It is only in those very dangerous times when we are asleep, like Jonah, in the bottom of a ship sailing away to Tarshish (away from God and His will for us) that we are in extreme danger. Once we are awake and realize what is going on, the real danger is past Even if we must be cast into the sea and live in the belly of a fish for 3 days, we can cry out to Him from the depths of the sea and He will hear and deliver us.

(I do get carried away with analogies and metaphor…and Jonah is my favorite. He and I share a lot in common! )

To Deborah:

“Or perhaps in despondency a believer attempts to pray but cannot–or at least cannot pray effectively?” – Dear Deborah, your description in this statement – and at your whole post – is very picturesque & very true as I feel it.
“Attempts to pray”…, yes, of course, not all people give up praying (but there are who give up, there are some who give up at times), and he also told me actuall like you write here!!! and it takes him much effort, and a feeling (deceptive of course) that He does not hear, it seems as if th words sound like in a cell & do not spread anywhere… A person feels like a prosoner – inside himself first of all, and the rest of the world seems to him small & meaningless & totally uninteresting.
I liked very much the comparison with a wife & a husband as well!
“Prolonged separations” are really dangerous in all respects – a family & a spiritual ones, when we allow our soul to create & grow the barrier…well, the lomger we are glazing at the empty tomb, the more separated we become from the One Who is Alive for ever, from Life.

“…that God exists and that He is there to help us—but be unable to receive that help due to despondency”. Yes, and this state resembles hell. Its misfortunate inhabitants also know He exists, but they are separated from Him…We when in despondency can partially feel it in our soul & mind, feeling unable to receive His stretched helping hand, and there it is all in all respects, directly. Separation from His presence. May our Resurrected Lord save us all from this! – in this life & the future one (though looking at it, we can feel that “future life” – the term which is often used – is not quite correct) – the life is unique & it is single. It just starts in this temporary word, and it is later prolonged in another state – eternal life…and if we pass the whole way with Christ, carrying our crosses without complains, thanking Him for He called us to this life to inherit enetral life with Him, if our soul undergoes personal inner resurrection and we are able, with His powerful help, save & guard resurrection in our soul, it’ll pass into our eternal life. Everything starts here, grows here, develops here, and proceed there…. where we’ll take the “luggage” that we collected in this temporary life. Depending on what it’ll be, we’ll either inherit His Resurrection or not….

You also mention that “The insidious thing about despondency is that one can suffer from it without actually losing one’s belief or faith in God”. I, deep in my soul, fear this state greatly, and am afraid that I am losing Faith (which for me is the greatest thing I am afraid of). As I fear it, I confess it – persistantly, asking the priests for their prayers for me. And once (maybe I wrote about it, don’t quite remember), in a period of “spiritual fall” like this I confessed, and one of our priests, abbot Savva, saying that I am terrified at what heppens to me & that I amfraid I am losing Faith. He told me an interesting thing, that was unexpected for me: he said that in every person’s life there are periods of rises & falls, and if I am in a gloomy period like this, it does not mean I lost faith. He said it is “because you suffer from your state, confess it, and – because you worry so much of losing faith”. He then said that if I really had lost faith, I would have felt calm, no regrets, nothing of the kind. I cannot now reproduce it word-for-word, but the idea was like that. And I understood that while we suffer, while we are fighting, while we try to move forward regardless how difficult it is (or seems) to us – nothing is lost. It is something that we should overcome, must overcome…

Thank you for your edifying, & amplifying, & innovative thoughts!

Father, Bless

“A Christian who understands that Christ’s becoming man makes him able to do holy things will not fall prey to despondency. Despondency is really the negation of belief in God, you know. Despondency is a type of atheism. You should fear despondency and confess it every time. It is a terrible sin, because in it, you are rejecting the resurrection. ”

The insidious thing about despondency is that one can suffer from it without actually losing one’s belief or faith in God. One can have faith that God exists and that He is there to help us—but be unable to receive that help due to despondency. One can become like a spouse separated from her husband. She is still married, but due to her voluntary or involuntary separation from him she receives virtually none of the benefits of marriage—companionship, intimacy or help. (And, sadly, prolonged separations like this can lead to a permanent separation—divorce.)

Like Thomas, the despondent wants to believe but simply cannot wrap her mind around the reality of something she has not yet experienced for herself. Like Thomas, the despondent believer may have walked with Christ and seen His miracles but, for whatever reasons, that is now ended and he exists separated from Him and the power of His resurrection. The reality is that the Savior is indeed risen, but for the despondent, He is, in effect, still dead.

Dear Natalia,

“My spiritual father quite long ago explained the difference of these states of soul to me, they are taken by people differently: in sorrow a believer prays, in despondency – he does not.”

Or perhaps in despondency a believer attempts to pray but cannot–or at least cannot pray effectively? Like a wife who is separated from her husband, or one who believes her spouse is dead, perhaps she talks out loud to the Beloved believing and/or hoping that somehow He hears, but, in effect, not really being able to speak to Him until they are reunited or until she stands before her living Lord.

He is risen, indeed!

Thank you cordially for your post. It led me to understanding of essential things, and linking together these Gospel chatacters, showing coincidence & making a very important conslusion.

I’d just want to crop in & comment on the following by now:

“Every time you fall into despondency, berate yourself for being a fool and gazing into an empty tomb, and wondering where the Lord is. Don’t be like this.” – I think our belief is shaken & we feel helpless, and ask in bewilderement – where is God? – not only in despondency, but in much more trifle & meaningless situations, just as we see any difficulty, or contravetsion, or disagreement of other people of our point of view.

I used to think over despondency, and discovered for myself that thuis notion is quite wide, and can have many routes. It really can have its origin in a very tough & what is more unbearable often – prolonged ones, in states of uncertainty (which are painful indeed), grief, desease….But despondency may also be caused by our will, which would not obey to God’s will, by our desire to get something which is not fulfilled by God, i.e. when our will & intentions fail due to some reasons. And the more selfish & egoistic we are, the more we despond in such cases. Despondency is also the state of a person having unconfessed sins; or confessed ones but with no further attempts of such a person to change the situation & his state.
Sometimes people mix up despondency & sorrow. My spititual father quite long ago explained the difference of these states of soul to me, they are taken by people differently: in sorrow a believer prays, in despondency – he does not. An awful state really – total helplessness, and hate for yourself for this. The longer it lasts, the more difficult to get ridd of it. I don’t claim to be a psychologist:-), I simply experienced all these states in different extents at different times. It is crucial to pray, to put much effort & soul into the process of recovery, to try to come to the surface from the bottom where we drowned deeply – to where the enemy & our own lack of firm faith led us. This is possible only with the help of Resurrected Jesus, with our belief in His Resurrection – which took place not at a certain time at a certain place – really – but which takes place eternally, and in a certain person & with those who will life after us. Otherwise we risk spending our life gazing at the empty tomb…having Christ nearby but failing to notice Him near us.

Christ Is Risen!