I have Jonah tendencies. I am good about showing up for duty, physically. But I have too often checked out, mentally and emotionally, when God was sending me someplace I did not wish to go (i.e. put me in circumstances that I did not want).

As Father mentioned, there is great grace in just showing up–but I am one of those guilty of not always taking advantage of this grace. But fortunately, as with Jonah, God loves us so much that He will pursue us and send terrible storms that will make us admit that we are running away, and demonstrate to us that we are heading in the wrong direction. He will send uncomfortable forms of deliverance (i.e. a return trip inside of a fish, fasting, etc… ) and set us on firm, dry ground, moving in the right direction.

In the end Jonah ends up obeying God and going to the place from which he had formally run–but he showed up without his heart. He still did not wish to be there–but at least he was there, physically, obedient to God—and that’s a start. Even after nearly drowning, spending time in a fish, and being used by God to deliver Nineveh, Jonah still had attitude problems and a long way to go–and so do I.

“And all I did was talk to a guy under a Hackberry tree!”

It reminded me of the “Butterfly effect”, Father!

Really every our step, word, gesture – never mind how small it may be & how insignificant it may seem to us – has its effect & lead to some consequences: for us & others. Our bad deeds, or just inattentiveness, or small rudeness, may lead to grave consequences, and we are unable to imagine the scale of ruins we leave after ourselves, deteriorating our soul & moving us away from God.

Also this phrase:

“… the LORD called Samuel: and he answered, Here am I.“ (1Sa 3:4 )

Do we often answer this? More often the answer is: “I am not here”! Please, don’t bother us, don’t notice us, leave us as it is in our artificial peace, which we industriously create around ourselves. I often notice this with me. I think that peace is what can be called spiritual peace, coordination with myself, which produces an illusion of a spiritual well-being; though in reality it is an escape from reality – not the visual one only, but from myself, from what I really am. And we are surprised after all this mentally constructed tower goes into pieces at the first obstacle, at the first intrusion of something unwilling or unexpected into our life. Because how can it be stable, if I hide fro God, calling me? It is also a special grace from Him, being called by Him, as by this He gives us a chance to put a real stone in the building of our house of salvation, to reveal ourselves as Christians, to prove our faith & devotion to Him. And what do we do? What am I doing in this life? Just hiding from Him, like Adam & Eve, as if He cannot find me! He will definitely find, and He sees what I do instead of fallowing Him & responding to His appeal, to His invitation for my salvation.

Bless,

Natalia

The part about showing up is so true. So many times I am tired at the weekend and wish to stay home and sleep, or watch television, but I find that every time I make the effort to come to liturgy I am happy and refreshed afterwards. I am always happy when I make the effort to come, even if it is a long way and I am beholden to others. And when I have the opportunity to carpool, my friendship with the others in our parish becomes stronger as well.